John Green ([info]crypticpress) wrote,
@ 2007-11-17 16:08:00
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Top 10 Other Things that Han Shot that Didn't Shoot at Him First
Found this list online here.

10. A poor, defenseless Minoc. This flappy critter couldn't even operate a gun, much less shoot at Han.

9. The Space Slug. Just moments after the cold-blooded Minoc shooting, we see Han shoot the insides of a space creature kind enough to have an atmosphere and gravity in its stomach.

8. A stormtrooper. Given slightly lower test scores, this guy could have been a bounty hunter.

7. The garbage compactor door. Even Leia thought this was excessive.

6. The intercom at the Detention Block. Think of all the calls home Imperial troops had made from that comm unit. "Hi Mom. We blew up Alderaan today. Give love to Pop."

5. An officer on the Death Star. Hey, that could have been a Bothan spy. They're masters of disguise, you know.

4. Imperial probe droid. Before he left the base, Han listened to the garble it was transmitting and said, "It isn't friendly whatever it is." If you don't know what it is, how can you tell it is bad? There might have been space kittens in there.

3. Vader's wingman. The guy was given a direct order not to fire. He was just around for moral support.

2. The Sarlacc tentacle. It was only trying to eat Lando-- heck, didn't Chewie want to do that at the end of Empire?

1. His poor, dying Tauntaun. Perhaps in the special edition, Lucas should have animated the tauntaun going nuts and in the throes of death, clawing out one of Han's eyes or grabbing his blaster and squeezing off a few shots-- making it justifiable to spill its smelly macaroni guts in the snow.



I would like to add Darth Vader to the list, who, while no doubt a baddie, Han tries to mow down upon the offer of afternoon tea in Empire, and of course there are the Ewoks in Jedi, who Han was ready to exterminate before Luke stopped him.


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[info]jedirob
2007-11-18 04:20 pm UTC (link)
He shoots the Tauntaun?

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[info]crypticpress
2007-11-19 01:18 pm UTC (link)
He doesn't shoot it, of course, and I thought about editing their original list to state that he slices it. It's my opinion that the thing was pretty much dead anyway. But as I started rewriting I wanted to rewrite everything and that was more time I wanted to spend on the post, so I just left it as is.

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[info]jedirob
2007-11-22 12:01 am UTC (link)
Yeah I always thought it was dead before he sliced and diced.

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[info]artemna
2007-11-19 02:39 am UTC (link)
Space kittens! Imagine how bad he would've felt!

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[info]9mmed
2007-11-19 04:50 pm UTC (link)
This was really funny!

I just added your posting priveledges to our community for Voice Of The Republic, [info]vor_journal. Would you like to cross-post this over there?

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[info]crypticpress
2007-11-20 03:36 pm UTC (link)
Uh, sure!

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[info]9mmed
2007-11-21 03:38 pm UTC (link)
Thanks!

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